What is Your Truth

During this trip to the States. I have learned one thing about myself. I'm not all that and I have a lot that I need to work on. You think I'm not confident because I said I'm not all that? No I am too confident at times, and I need to tone it down a notch...because as one Pastor said, when you die the world doesn't stop for you, and life will go on!

This morning I spoke with my husband about things, as we always do before work and praying. I realized, as much as I thought I had grown in the last year, I still am rough around the edges.

I think some of the most successful people are people that don't have pride, can be honest with themselves and their friends, admit their faults, and try their best to be a working progress. Think about it, most millionaires that I've met have this mellow, down to earth aura about them. It's us working towards our first million that have the chip on our shoulders.

Is there anything you need to work on?

Here are my own truths:

1. I'm spoiled. I am used to getting whatever I want, whenever I want it, and it's made me selfish over the years. I am used to wanting a bag and buying it, I am used to wanting a pair of sneakers that cost way too much and still buying it. I'm used to having a craving for some type of food, and getting it. There comes a time when we have to tell ourselves no, practice control and learn life is not only about you. Because there will be times when you can't get what you want and because you're so used to getting what you want it makes you depressed...but that will not be your portion.

2. I'm a bit superficial and a shop-a-holic. This summer I spent way too much on new shoes and I to be honest I didn't need those shoes. I'm sure I could have done without a new pair of Nicholas Kirkwood's or those Lanvin Sneakers or Carven Flats. I'm sure my account and husband would have been a bit happier, if I bought say only two pair instead of eight. Thus I'm going to work on not getting excited when I see shopping bags, and learn that I'm no longer 25 and can't just buy everything that I want any more like I used to. I guess I'll save to get that Saint Laurent Sac De Jour later...sigh.

*Hope ya'll don't get bored with my outfits now! lol.

3. I have a sharp tongue. I'm the kind of person that could break you in two seconds if I wanted. But I'm learning more and more that silence is the best weapon, and everyone is not built like me. I may be able to take the truth from some people, other's may not be. Everyone does not have the same coping mechanisms. And while some may think a smart mouth is not that serious, who's to say that what you say won't push someone over the edge to harm themselves.

Quick Story: I remember I travelled to London to visit my husband back when we were dating and I missed my train back to work during Pharmacy School. The sad thing is it wasn't my fault the company did not send me the right email thus the Mega Bus operator did not let me on the train. I was calm at first, then started to get heated because the train I was supposed to be on was right in front me, and I was on time.

I tried calling Mega Bus and they were of no help. As I saw my train leave right before my eyes, I was so heated my fist was balled up and hot tears were about to stream down my face. I was literally about to say, 'This job that is giving you small power, you will die in this job and never progress and your children will never be anything more than a MegaBus employee, foolish ignoramus!' But I had a thought that said don't he could commit suicide.

Now I don't know where that thought came from, maybe it was the Holy Spirit telling me to chill, but I felt like absolute rubbish. I was still pissed because I had to cough up another £70.00 for a brand new ticket that could have gone to shoes (see how spoiled I was). However, that experience taught me that people are human and go through struggles, and you saying something without you knowing could push them to do something that is harmful... But then again some people aren't like me and don't care...until you're that megabus employee that get's told off when you're at your lowest of lows...we need to be more compassionate to each other as human beings.

4. I need to be more humble. I used to think I was better than a lot of people because I was tall, or because I could dress, or because I was popular, or because of my family, or because of my educational background or just because. (Many of us make up this false self esteem based on nothing more than an air, which is dangerous.) Then reality hit me last year. No matter how rich you are or no matter how smart you are circumstances in your life could arise that can take everything you've worked for away.

In short, I've become a better person! I've learned to ignore, I've learned to forgive, and I've learned to love. However, I've learned I still have so much more to work on. In couple of years by God's grace I'll be a mother, and I pray I'll be a mother that has worked on the above so they are no longer my truths.